Written by Jambareeqi

Posted 12th August, 2018

Samson the lion lives in New York Zoo with his son Ryan, he tries to teach his cub to roar, but a whimpering meow is all that comes out. One night, Ryan attempts to prove his predatory skills by attacking the Gazelles, which goes wrong, creating a stampede, and this makes Samson very angry. Humiliated, Ryan runs away, only to end up in a box to Africa, so it’s up to Samson and his friends to rescue the cub.

Once in Africa, we learn that, despite his self hype, Samson is not really from the wild, and this comes as a hindrance to everyone’s original survival chances.  To make things worse, local wildebeests have decided to develop into predators, carnivores worthy of taking down lions, and Samson’s koala friend Nigel is considered to be their god like idol.

This film has gained notoriety for it’s uncanny resemblance to Dreamworks’ Madagascar, considering that it’s the tale of a bunch of zoo animals having to survive in Africa, but the comparisons go beyond the premise itself. You see, both films share the same hyperactive “please laugh at me, I beg you” sense of energy, the kind of desperate obnoxious comedy that thinks simply making characters move & talk constantly is automatically hilarious, but instead, forces me to want to take headache pills.

Characters are frequently going to frantic lengths to keep the audience chuckling, but this just makes the jokes that fall, even harder to stomach, because they keep relentlessly attempting to score laughs; without any concern for careful timing, structured pacing, or natural organic execution. Luckily, unlike “Madagascar”, there are a reasonable number of gags that succeeded to get a giggle out of me, you just have to put up with the rubbish ones first, and I won’t lie that the juvenile misfires are difficult to swallow.

Even though the comedy is mixed, and the idea for the movie is redundant, I can’t say that the film has nothing to offer, because there’s some things that saved it for me. The idea of a father raising his son on lies, to help inspire him to grow strong, is a fascinating concept that walks the thin line of parenting ethics, and opens up questions about the moral conundrum of making sure you’re a hero to your child.

Samson is a lion who was raised by a cruel aggressive father, so it makes sense that he’d go to extremes to make his son motivated, because he doesn’t want his kid to go through what he did. He isn’t a bad guy, he will immediately apologise if he says the wrong thing, and won’t give up the rescue for Ryan once he’s sent to Africa, but he is certainly trying too hard to not be like his own dad. When the film chills the hell out, to let the drama unfold, it is possible to enjoy this dad’s quest to save his son; even if you have to put up with comic relief characters eating the camera or wailing loud unfunny dialogue at the side.

I also love our antagonists! These wildebeests are a blast, as they get the best laughs in the film, thanks to their campy love of singing & dancing, plus it’s kind of funny that they mistake a koala teddy as a sign that Nigel is their new god. Using these villains, the film touches on the idea of prey challenging predators, to the point where they want to shift the natural order, and attempt to dismantle the very food chain that the animal kingdom functions on. It’s rare that prey become the antagonists in a talking animal movie, I like the idea of the bottom of the food train trying to rise up, it’s a silly concept, and a nice change of pace from seeing predators in the role.

To conclude, “The Wild” suffers from having overly frantic comedy that often annoyed the shit out of me, but it is capable of laugh out loud gags sometimes, and I was engaged in the story whenever the characters decided to shut the hell up or tone down their personalities. There’s some nuggets to pan for while swimming through the muck, little things worth appreciating, especially when we have to sit through so much irritating noise.

Yes, the stronger elements of the film aren’t that fresh, they are themes Disney have explored or would touch on later in other movies (some of which did the same ideas better), but they’re still decently handled, and they helped compensate for the more unbearable parts of the movie. The film is quite short, barely reaching the 80 minute mark, so don’t expect the adventure to be anything too extraordinary, as the focus is mainly on goofy hi-jinks and father-son drama.

Does it remind me too much of “Madagascar”? Sure! But I can honestly say that this is the more enjoyable one of the two to me. I also doubt that Disney intentionally ripped of Madagascar, considering that it can take 2 years to make a theatrical animated feature, and “Madagascar” was released only a year before “The Wild”. I don’t blame people for accusing Disney of plagiarism, especially knowing their reputation for competing with Dreamworks, but let’s be realistic before playing the rip off card.

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Posted 1st August, 2018
Written by Jambareeqi

Seiji is a tough guy renowned for his right hand’s powerful punch, using his talent to defend bully victims from gangs, but he struggles to find a girlfriend thanks to his violent reputation, and this makes him lonely. All that changes, when he wakes up to realise that his hand has turned into a girl called Midori! But Midori isn’t just any girl, she’s had a crush on Seiji for ages, knows about Seiji’s kinder side, but never had the courage to confess to him. Meanwhile, Midori’s actual body is stuck in a sleep, her family don’t know how to wake her, relying on spiritual shamans to work out what’s happening, and Seiji is clueless how to solve this predicament.

“Midori Days” is a very silly show with an odd concept, lending to some great comedy, fueled by the clashing personalities of sweet Midori and bad tempered Seiji. While Midori is a cute loudmouth with so much love to give, Seiji struggles to crush his badboy image in fear of letting others find him vulnerable, these opposing characteristics make for laugh out loud humour, because Seiji is stuck to a girl who is far more openly romantic than him.

This comedy is supported by a cast of additional characters, with only a select few knowing that Seiji’s right hand is now a girl, these characters mix up the episodic formula of angry boy Vs. cute girl, while also throwing in some tension into their secret, and testing Midori’s ability to keep quiet. We never know how anyone could react to Seiji’s new right hand, so we’re left biting our nails as someone comes close to unearthing the truth, hoping they don’t hurt Midori once they find out! But at the same time, some characters develop feelings for Midori & Seiji, which complicates things even more, especially when we end up rooting for others to have their chance, even though we know Midori is the one.

These characters don’t play straight to our quirky leads though, they can be just as eccentric, from Seiji’s cruel naughty older sister (who boarders on being a villain sometimes), to a weird doll collector who becomes infatuated with little Midori, and many others. They all get the right amount of episodes, never overstaying their welcome in the show, letting their dynamic be the strength of episodes, and not once having no purpose in an episode. It is also fascinating watching Seiji interacting with characters outside his secret relationship with Midori, as we get to learn more about him through these friendships or family, and he does prove to be more socially conscious than we originally thought.

I’ll admit that the comedy can sometimes get a little lewd, even nearing the realm of being an ecchi show sometimes (don’t expect nipples to be discreetly censored, folks), but it’s naughty comedy rarely feels that forced, except when the series has it’s obligatory “accidental witnessing of nudity” gag, which was prevalent in early 2000’s anime comedies. Most of the more crude jokes are setup in a way that makes sense, because characters are forced into a position where they feel like there’s no other choice, like when Seiji thinks that merging his right hand with Midori’s sleeping naked body will fix things, but it just makes her family think that he’s a groping pervert.

The show isn’t just a goofy anime about a man stuck with a girl for a right hand, it does go deeper than that, letting us get to know our romantic leads, why they became who they are, and developing their relationship through mundane activities. Even though Seiji is a bad tempered punk, he can be really sensitive to those around him, it’s Midori’s affectionate open hearted personality that brings his more considerate side out, and I love seeing salty characters like this struggling to open up. Midori’s adorable antics keep the show’s energy alive, but we later learn that she’s not always been this bubbly, and it’s her literal closeness to Seiji that opens up her confidence. I couldn’t help but smile at these two, they grow a very believable bond, connecting on a special level while stuck together, and go the extra mile to make this all work.

The only big downside to the show, is that even after building up so much, it doesn’t provide a very satisfying ending, having the same problem as most romance anime of the time, cutting things off when there’s clearly more to tell, and it’s a rather anti-climatic finish to such a fun interesting setup. I guess some audiences will be satisfied on some level, as it does give the characters a chance to open up their feelings, a problem that both had before Midori became Seiji’s right hand, but I still wanted the two talk about all their experiences together, and they don’t get to.

I was also always curious about how Midori ended up becoming Seiji’s right hand, there could have been any reason why, the writer’s imagination was the only limit, but sadly, we never get any answers. Sure, maybe the point of the story wasn’t the supernatural elements, perhaps the focus was on pushing these characters to conquer their shyness, but the right hand curse is still a HUGE hook to the show’s concept, and I was eager to see a creative fantastical reason behind it’s occurrence.

To Conclude, “Midori Days” is a delightfully kooky show with lots of laughs, but underneath it’s silly idea is a heart of gold, and it knows how to find the right balance between it’s comedy & drama. The comedy might get a bit too raunchy sometimes, but it’s tame compared to full on ecchi shows from the same era, and it is capable of branching out beyond just nudity gags. I did smile and laugh a lot while watching series, it’s very entertaining, incredibly cute at times too, and I became quite attached to the characters, but I think that’s why the abrupt ending tastes so sour. 

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Written by Jambareeqi

Posted 15th July, 2018

Based on the Peanuts comics by Charles Schulz, this film has Charlie Brown, Snoopy, and their friends going off to camp together. While camping, they take part in various activities, but the major event is a raft race, which pits our heroes against a trio of cheating bullies.

Now, those expecting a profound film that captures the existentialism of Schulz’s comics, will be sorely disappointed, which I totally understand if that’s what draws you to Peanuts. This is a fairly straight forward children’s camp comedy about an outdoor competition, as run of the mill as it gets, and I wouldn’t be surprised if it sounds boring to you.

However, while the film it doesn’t exactly shake up the summer camp comedy formula, the race is energized by dangerous obstacles, our heroes are put in some wild peril, and kids will be kept on their toes about what’ll stop Charlie next (although, some audiences will find these conflicts too short lived). It is quite alarming to see the Peanuts kids facing stormy waters or demolition bombs, when we’re so used to seeing them in more mundane situations.

The movie also likes to take rests between the action too, giving us slow scenes of rafts flowing down a peaceful river, set alongside pretty scenery and cheery folk music. These were my favourite parts of the movie, as it made for a relaxing atmosphere, and it’s rare for kids’ movies to settle down this much. I’ll confess that the film gets bumpy in the middle, when the race abruptly stops for a “lost in the forest” plot, a sudden narrative disruption that will annoy those immersed in the raft competition.

Our villains are as generic as kids’ movies antagonists get, a bunch of bullies who act like jerks for the sake of continuing their yearly winning streak, but they help play into the movie’s simple lesson of not cheating in competitions, by paying the price for being underhanded. These brats have the most annoying looped evil laugh I’ve ever heard haha! This grating track gets played so much, that it actually makes me root for our heroes even more.

The comedy is far from inventive, relying on the same skits very frequently, especially a running joke that the girls depend on secret ballots to make team decisions. In spite of this, I did smile or laugh when these gags were first played out, as they are legit funny jokes before being run into the ground. Small kids might enjoy this repetition, especially as the comedy is tailored more to their tastes, but fans will be sad that the distinct Peanuts dry wit is a rarity.

It is adorable seeing Snoopy & Woodstock joining in on the camping, being their usual wacky selves, even entering the race themselves as a team, and who can’t cheer on these two cute critters? Their silent camping antics are also a welcome break from listening to the poor child actors, most of which shout their lines with wooden deliveries (a staple of Bill Melendez’s Charlie Brown cartoons).

I’ll admit that the trademark gag of not showing the adults is distracting here, especially when there doesn’t seem to be a sign of any at all being around (not even any trumpeted wah-wahs are heard), because these kids are doing some rather dangerous tasks, making me wonder why this camp was basically being run by kids, and my suspension of belief was certainly tested throughout the movie. This does affect the story, as it made me puzzle over why adults weren’t hunting down the kids when they went missing, and it’s not exactly a good message to imply that’s it’s fine for small children to raft race alone.

The animation isn’t exactly cinema release quality, but I doubt that this was a big deal back in the day, as Disney was cutting back on costs around this time themselves, so a scrappy looking Charlie Brown movie wouldn’t have stood out too much. Keep in mind too, director Bill Melendez was an assistant animator at Disney before committing to this franchise, so he’s well educated on the principles, and characters can have inventive expressiveness in their gestures.

To Conclude, this movie is rather standard stuff as far as kids’ movies go, but it’s got a cool as a cucumber vibe to it’s atmosphere, a simple lesson about the consequences of cheating, and there are some funny moments. If you like relaxing slice of life films about cute dogs and camping, then give it a go! But don’t expect the same intellectual wit as an actual Peanuts comic.

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Written by Jambareeqi

Posted 2nd June, 2018

Flik is a quirky creative ant, who is looked down upon by his more conservative colony, who are harvesting food for themselves and the grasshoppers who bully them, but their stock is accidentally knocked over by Flik’s new invention. When the grasshoppers arrive, led by the menacing Hopper, they are angry to discover that there’s no food for them, but give them a second chance, only with MORE food to be owed to them this time.

Princess Atta and the royal council don’t know what to do with clumsy well meaning Flik, until Flik offers to retrieve bigger stronger insects from the city to come protect the colony. Seeing this as an opportunity to rid off Flik during harvesting, the princess encourages him to go, and the colony cheer at Flik’s departure.

While out searching for tough bugs in the city, Flik mistakes a troupe of circus entertainers for heroic warriors, he asks them to come save his colony, and these performers assume Flik is a talent agent needing actors for a new play. However, when the circus bugs arrive in the colony’s home, things start to add up, they realise that they’re being asked to fight grasshoppers, and decide to abandon Flik at his time of need. It’s not until the circus bugs become enamored by these ants, that they consider staying behind, and let Flik stage a way for them to not fight.

Growing up, I found this to be one of my favourite animated films, I loved watching it with my family whenever it came on TV. Re-watching it as an adult, while I don’t think it’s particularly bad, I wasn’t that impressed by how well the film had aged, finding it less charming or funny than I did as a child. I think out of all the Pixar films, this is the one that’s mostly aimed at very young kids, maybe around the range of 3 – 8 year olds, and I did struggle to find the appeal as an adult.

In all honesty, I didn’t find myself empathising with the ants, as they come across as cranky, and spend most of the film complaining or worrying. Flik maybe inventive and brave, but I wouldn’t say his personality was particularly charismatic (his over-cheeriness could get annoying too), while Princess Atta is gratingly short tempered due to personal royal pressures, and her little sister Dot maybe courageous for her age, but she’s still just as whiny as the other ants (not to mention, it’s her cuteness that makes the film too saccharine at places).

Yeah, it’s not fair that these little guys are being pushed around, but a little more endearing development for them would have gone a long way, if the film really wanted my condolences. Although, the cheeky queen was pretty cool, being the most chilled out ant, and I liked how she’d laugh off things. I kind of wish more of the ants had her attitude, or at least toned down their nervous crabbiness, because then I’d find it easier to get along with them, and see appeal to their personalities.

Not even the circus bugs won me over, all being one joke caricatures like “The Fat One”, “The Ladybird who isn’t a lady”, “The Stick insect who gets mistaken for a stick”, and other unimaginative tropes that can only generate the same repeated jokes. I also felt that the circus bugs’ attachment to the colony was done too fast, mainly told through a quick montage that brushes through their stay, and I ended up not buying that they had fallen in love with the ants.

As shocking as it is, I was most engaged in the film whenever the villains came on screen, because these grasshoppers are pretty damn intense, and even framed in an almost horror-esque light in some scenes. There’s a screeching pale grasshopper called Thumper,  who will terrify young audiences, Hopper’s easily excited brother Molt (the character that got the most laughs out of me as an adult), and the deviously cunning Hopper himself.

I find these characters far more interesting and fun than our heroes, to the point where I kind of guiltily wanted them to win the day, which isn’t a good sign when the ants are supposed to be the victims. From the tense relationship between the brothers, to the insecurities hidden behind the manipulative Hopper, these antagonists brought some much needed edge to a very twee movie, and their scenes had the most dramatic strength to me.

To be fair, the film isn’t exactly harmful, it’s messages are very valuable for kids! It teaches audiences to not underestimate yourself or others, that even the smallest or most vulnerable can achieve great things, and these are excellent principles to teach children at a young age. In spite of the film’s inability to impress me, I can’t deny how much heart it has, with it’s characters learning to discover their hidden abilities, while also recognising what the rest of their community can do.

The animation is very colourful, embracing it’s sunny summer atmosphere with joy, while also giving the environment some rich plantlife, adding sharp angular detail to the harshly rough grasshoppers, and providing the circus bugs with lush vibrancy. However, I don’t think that the ants’ models have stood the test of time, with their very plastic textures, plus they have designs that are too similar to each other, to the point where I sometimes couldn’t tell the difference between a supporting character or Flik himself. To be fair, this is a very early Pixar production, the second one produced in fact, but it was easier to look over such technical shortcomings when the characters were toys.

To Conclude, “A Bug’s Life” is good for what it is, as I can appreciate it’s well meaning messages, found the villains to be a blast, and would say that it could be fun at times of peril. It’s just that it’s the Pixar film that’s trying the hardest to pander to kids, resulting in a film that’s just too sickly sweet and cutesy for my tastes. Sure, kids will really love this one, maybe parents will too (mine did), but I can’t in wholehearted sincerity say that it’s Pixar at their best, as it’s just too “Okay” for their usual standards.

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Written by Jambareeqi

Posted 26th May, 2018

“The Breadwinner” is an animated Canadian-Irish-Luxembourg Co-Production from Cartoon Saloon, the Irish studio behind such films as “The Secret of Kells” and “The Song of the Sea”. Set in a Taliban ruled Afghanistan, it tells the tale of a little girl called Parvana, whose father ends up being taken to Prison, leaving the family to struggle financially, because it is forbidden for females to leave their homes. In a bold move, Parvana cuts her hair, dons her deceased brother’s old clothes, changes her name to Aatish, and starts using her new male identity to support her family. At the same time, she learns that she can bribe the prison to free her father, so she saves up money for this incentive, and hopes to afford a bribe big enough to blackmail the Taliban.

I really enjoy films that take me out of comfort zone, to help me empathise with those outside my own world, and “The Breadwinner” does just that. Watching this film, I discovered that being a woman in a Taliban ruled Afghanistan must have been downright terrifying; because of  your low ranking status, the lack of freedom you had, and the constant fear of aggressive armed authority figures. Not only that, there was the ever present threat of war, in a land already ravaged by past battles, with tank graveyards reminding our characters of their culture’s history.

With these details in mind, I became amazed by the character of Parvana, whose courage and perseverance is astounding! Yes, she’s scared about risking her life, but who wouldn’t be? It’s the fact that she knows that she can pull off being a boy, embraces the opportunity with little hesitation, working herself hard to support her family and save her imprisoned father. Even when she’s beaten down or rejected, she continues fighting on, believing with all her heart that she can accomplish anything, while also enjoying the pleasures of being recognised as a boy. Her heroism is so inspiring, that it ends up rubbing off on the rest of her family, when they are forced into a position where they must defend themselves, and that’s beautifully moving.

I felt so tense while watching this movie, always aware that this young girl could be caught at any moment, wishing for her safety every time she left the house, and sympathising with her family’s worries about her. One false move, one little slip up, then the bag is up, and who knows what would happen? Some of the men in charge are terrifying, so any moment where Parvana comes inches from being caught, is intensely overwhelming, to the point where my heart raced and my body froze.

Luckily, not everyone outside Parvana’s family is an antagonist. There’s a girl called Shauzia, who is sharing labour jobs with Parvana, and hopes to save up enough money to leave the city in a bid to escape her abusive father. It’s really touching to see that Parvana isn’t alone in her disguise routine, with Shauzia by her side for advice about pretending to be a boy, while also supporting her risky goals, and the two of them develop a heart moving bond that’s adorably charming.

There’s also Razaq, an illiterate man who ends up hiring Parvana to teach him to read & write, he’s one of the more sympathetic male figures, willing to risk his own life to help Paravana and her family. Without these two characters, maybe Parvana may have seemed more vulnerable, but I think they add some much needed humanity to this community, and prove that there’s good out there. 

Parvana’s family seem understandably conflicted about letting their little girl pull this stunt, both knowing that it’s a last resort, and aware that it’s a dangerous responsibility for a child. Even though they’ll sometimes argue or fight, while suffering from their hardships, this family still dearly love eachother, and do all they can to look out for one another. It’s inspiring to see a family living in this culture, still appreciating what little food or water they have, never wanting more than basic needs, and still being spiritually faithful to the very religion that the Taliban are using to control them.

In terms of the visuals and sounds, this is one beautiful looking movie, using gorgeous handdrawn animation to it’s story, while employing stunning Middle Eastern music to capture the Afghan atmosphere. It’s so easy to get immersed in this film, because so much artistic effort has been put into the production, with affectionate soulful love etched into every frame or composition. The art style is somewhat realistic, to match the seriousness of the overall tone, but it’s also slightly exaggerated, to justify the use of the animation medium.

Throughout the film, Parvana is also telling her family her own story, the tale of a little boy’s quest to defeat an evil elephant, and save his people from a crop disaster. This subplot isn’t here for filler or padding, it exists to mirror Parvana’s life, to keep her family’s spirits up, and give Parvana the courage needed to carry on her daring mission. This tale she’s invented also gives the movie some humour & colour, with it’s gorgeously vibrant cut out animation, and tongue in cheek silly imagination. I never got frustrated when the film switched it’s attention to this story, because it plays into the main plot, reinforces the themes of the film, and is simply a really well told tale.

To Conclude, “The Breadwinner” is a breathtakingly intelligent film about perseverance, gender identity, and family love. It’s a very inspiring sit, that educates audiences about Afghan history, addressing the brutality and hypocrisy of the Taliban, while still providing a tale of uplifting female heroism in a male dominated society. It made me confront my own privileges, opened my eyes to the suffering outside my culture, taught me about Afghan family values, and inspired me to be just as tenacious as the film’s heroine. If you can, try to go see this movie, whether it’s just reached your local indie cinema or is currently available on DVD/Blu-Ray at a nearby shop, because films like this need to be encouraged in the animation industry.

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Written by Jambareeqi

Posted 26th May 2018

This is a French-Swiss-Belgian animated fantasy comedy. When a young miller boy called Peter inherits a talking walking cat from his deceased father, the cat promises to help the lad win the heart of the Princess, by helping him convince the queen that he is a Marquis, and worthy of her daughter. However, the Royal Chamberlain is onto Peter’s act, which will get in the way of his evil plan to make the princess his own, and so he tries to prove that Peter is a liar.

For crying out loud, this was a nauseating sit! Every character in this movie refuses to stop moving or talking, as if a bomb will detonate if they decide to breathe or pause, and it makes for a ridiculously aggravating experience. The film is a prime example of what happens when you ignore the rule “Only keep the dialogue that’s important”, because every waking moment is dedicated to characters saying something; it doesn’t matter what their lines are, they just HAVE to say something, and it makes paying attention painful.

While characters talk, they’re either finding an excuse to dance out of nowhere, flapping their arms about like they’re swatting a swarm of mosquitoes away, or doing anything it takes to not stay still. As I’ve said before, good animation requires pauses, not just to make characters look like they’re thinking before they move, but also so they don’t end up annoying the living shit out of the audience. I know the fear of making characters look under-animated or dead, I really do, but making them prance about incessantly isn’t the only way to avoid that, as pauses or slow gestures can play a part in a character’s organic realism.

The film is also sort of a clone of Disney’s “Aladdin”, but it doesn’t understand what made “”Aladdin” work! Peter pines after the princess before ever even meeting her, making him seem like a creepy stalker, while Aladdin didn’t fall for Jasmine until he got to know her a bit. Peter is also no Aladdin, he spends the whole film stuttering nervously or whining under his breath, as he follows the Cat’s orders like a spineless mopey twit. While the Princess in this film is awfully shallow, implying that she’ll only fall for a man who can sing or dance, ignoring any qualities that are important in a relationship, just to hammer in how her only character trait is that she likes performing; she’s not even that great of a dancer or singer.

Oh and throughout the film, she secretly puts on a mask to dance/sing in secret from her family, even though the Queen knows of her hobbies? And doesn’t judge her for them? Maybe she’s afraid to let her parents know she’s dancing in a tavern, but it’s never clear that the Queen has something strongly against this? And the mask doesn’t even hide her identity very well, yet our heroes take FOREVER to work out it’s her.

The Chamberlain is a rubbish antagonist, being far from discreet about his villainy, to the point where EVERYONE hates him with a passion, begging the question why the Queen hasn’t fired or executed him yet? Yes, Jafar was flamboyantly sinister, I’m not going to naively call him subtle, but he at least went to extra lengths to keep up his act, and used his staff to hypnotize the Sultan. The Chamberlain isn’t even a funny comical bad guy, as most of his lines consist of long winded expository evil monologues, and his animation is the most irritatingly over-active out of all the characters.

The Cat himself is a terrible liar too, because he keeps yapping away constantly, making him less of a suave witty prankster, and more of an idiot who doesn’t know when to stop talking. Yes, he gets away with his con tricks, but only because it’s easy as pie to calm the Queen’s suspicions, and the film wants to keep the act going for the sake of pushing the narrative forward. I also didn’t buy the film’s tacked on message about friendship, because Peter always seems pissed off with the Puss, never fully trusting the feline’s plans ahead, and coming off as fed up with the Cat’s ideas for trickery. Contrary to popular belief, this film wasn’t designed to rip off Dreamworks’ “Puss in Boots” spin off, as that film came after this one, but the Cat’s resemblance to the Shrek’s version of Puss is unmistakable.

Visually, while I appreciate how much effort has gone into the rendering, the characters have this strange exaggerated uncanny valley style to them, making them appear like creepy mutants, and some even boarder on looking similar to the humans from “Food Fight!”.  Sure, some of the backgrounds can look pretty, especially a couple of sunsets, but it’s hard to keep our eyes on the screen, when characters are so repulsive to look at. Sometimes, realism isn’t a good thing! If you try too hard to push animated characters to look photo realistic, while staying true to cartoon aesthetics, then the characters end up looking… well… wrong?

Now, I didn’t watch the version of the film that included the infamously bad William Shatner dub of the Cat, but I did see this movie in English, with Richard M Dumont as the Cat instead. While Dumont is far more listenable than Shatner’s bizarre high pitched warbling, he doesn’t really bring anything unique or fun to the role, sounding like Fat Tony doing a poor impression of Antonio Banderas. Everyone else in the cast is clearly struggling to match their performances to the mouth movements, leading to some iffy deliveries, where actors draw out or speed up certain syllables, and it’s all very distracting to say the least. 

The Music for the film is very different to your usual soundtracks, employing various European instruments and lots of Kazoo, but listening to it can be grating, because it sounds so loud and infantile. I’m sure kids will find this score to be cute, but other family members might end up getting wound up by the quirky kazoo squawking. I’d say that the music is the only interesting aspect of the film, but I can’t in good conscience, conclude that it’s all easy on the ears.

To Conclude, “The True Story of Puss ‘N Boots” is a nightmarish looking film, with unlikable flat characters, noisy dialogue, and hyperactive animation. Half the time, it feels like we’re watching a film make things up as it goes along, throwing in the first idea or line that comes to mind, because there’s so much rambling nonsense going off. Maybe kids will like it fine? But it’s not one of those films that they can enjoy with their family, or a movie they’ll appreciate as they get older, because it panders so much to their age range.

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Written by Jambareeqi

Posted 18th May, 2018

Based on the BBC TV documentary series “Walking with dinosaurs”, this film follows a Pachyrhinosaurus called Patchi (the pinnacle of imaginative naming right there), who is the son of the leader of his herd, and has an egotistical brother called Scowler. After trying to defend his offspring, Scowler and Patchi’s father is killed, so Scowler ends up working up the ranks to become the new leader. Scowler not only humiliates his little brother, but also steals his love interest Juniper, and leads the herd into dangerous directions.

Urrrrggh, that’s time I’m not going to get back, what a rubbish piece of dino dung! This movie brings nothing worthwhile to Children’s cinema or the art of edutainment. While the film will sometimes stop to provide the audience with facts about dinosaurs, the filmmakers did NOT have confidence in kids’ ability to enjoy learning, focusing more on a run of the mill sibling rivalry story with a generic “finding courage” message, and featuring dinosaurs who don’t know how to shut the hell up. The film is a constant string of verbal diarrhea, with annoying characters spouting non-stop dumb jokes or generic Hollywood one liners, and silence is a bloody damn miracle when it happens.

Great kids’ movies respect that children are capable of patiently reading visual storytelling, or believe that they can at least develop the ability to do so, but this movie? It has no respect for young people’s intelligence, depending WAY too much on juvenile humour and TWO narrators to keep kids engaged. So many scenes that require somber or serious moods, are drained of all credibility, when the goofy cheesy dialogue dominates nearly every scene, and tearjerker moments are turned into comedic sketches.

The dialogue doesn’t even match the visuals! Not just because it intentionally doesn’t sync to the dinosaurs, but the cartoony style of voice acting is BEYOND unfitting against hyper-realistically rendered animals, creating this weird uncanny valley that’s pretty distracting. What’s even weirder, is that not all the dinosaurs talk, some just stick to grunting or roaring, and the film isn’t even particular about which characters can or can’t talk.

Even when you mute this film, it’s STILL annoying, because the visuals are catering to the dialogue’s timing,  making the pacing rather unnatural, and so there goes any way of finding this movie tolerable through an alternative silent cut. You know what really bugs me? If the filmmakers actually embraced it’s photo realistic animation, stuck to a mature tone, ditched the rambling noisy dialogue, then this film could have been at least watchable, not amazing, but at least tolerable to sit through.

I say this, because as annoying as the film is, I can’t deny how much effort has gone into the overall presentation! The beautiful live action backgrounds, vividly rendered dinosaurs, and grand bombastic music, all lend to a promising movie about the majesty of a time before our own. Films that squander their potential are pretty shameful to me, because they abuse what hope they had, trading integrity or creative risk taking for easy pandering, and all that could have been is sadly lost.

To conclude, I’ve rarely had headaches before in my life, but this movie gave me one, and I kept needing to recover my thumping skull with frequent drinks of water. This is a patronising film featuring annoying one dimensional characters, who seem to think that their beaks or teeth will explode if they stop talking, and star in a story that lacks any inventiveness or inspiration.

NOTHING about this movie sets it apart from other children’s dinosaur films, plus the educational value is downplayed out of fear of boring kids too much, and you shouldn’t expect much substance or originality from it’s story or characters. Sure, the visuals are breathtakingly gorgeous, and the music can be awesome sometimes, but it’s hard to appreciate these stunning elements under all the forced rattling dialogue. Unsurprisingly, all these yapping voice overs were a last minute decision by FOX, and you tell that they’ve all been tacked on! It’s like watching a really bad movie dub by unfunny comedians.

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Written by Jambareeqi

Posted 8th May, 2018

With “Sherlock Gnomes” coming out in UK Theatres this week, I thought I’d check out it’s predecessor, and see if it deserved a sequel this year. “Gnomeo & Juliet” is set in two warring gardens, one red and one blue, who hold grudges against each other due to their owners’ bitter relationship. This rivalry becomes challenged one day though, when blue gnome Gnomeo and red gnome Juliet fall madly in love, and start a secret affair.

The Strength of this film, to me anyway, is it’s central romance between the title characters, and the chemistry they have together. These two are pretty adorable together, often sharing witty banter and coming close to kissing, it’s sweet innocent fluff that’ll charm the pants off audiences who like cutesy love stories. There’s also something lovely about them finding a abandoned garden to have their dates in, it’s excitingly secretive. Although, it is a little weird seeing two characters clearly designed to look like adults, acting like the teenagers from the original play, but I guess love brings out a more youthful side to some grown ups.

It’s a shame that most other things about this movie let it down though, because the romance was enough to make the film work. The supporting characters are the biggest hindrance to this movie’s appeal, many being a pain in the ass, constantly trying way too hard to be funny with incessant driveling dialogue. Only one endeared me, a plastic flamingo called Featherstone, but that’s because he’s given a sympathetic reason for his over-bearing personality, is the only character who supports the romance, and is voiced by an endearing Jim Cummings. Oh and Shroom the mushroom made for a cute silent comic relief, but his personality was often drowned out by all the louder characters. Everyone else? I wanted them to be crushed by lawnmowers, just to make the film quieter, as harsh as that sounds.

The Story is exactly what you’d expect from the premise, a Disney-esque version of Shakespeare’s “Romeo & Juliet”, but with garden ornaments. It doesn’t really do much with the source material, except replace certain elements with backyard decorations, and lighten up the tone. I didn’t expect much from the concept though, so I can’t say I was let down, but this does explain why this movie didn’t wow critics. Heck, if you’ve seen Aladdin and Toy Story, then bam! You don’t need to see this movie, because it’s pretty much those movies mushed together.

The comedy is so painful to watch, it managed to get 1 or 2 chuckles out of me, but for the most part, I was wincing with my head resting on my palm in embarrassed agony. I’m sure very small children will laugh at all these obnoxious frantic gags, and all power to them, but many parents and older siblings are left with very little to laugh at. Great family comedies tickle all age ranges, but this one is clearly pandering to the youngest demographic, and this will stop the film from being timeless.

The movie employs a wide cast of British acting talent for the voice cast, including Maggie Smith, Michael Caine, Julie Walters, Jason Statham, Richard Wilson, James McAvoy, Emily Blunt, and Patrick Stewart. While our leads are greatly utilized, demonstrating some witty chemistry together, the others feel very under-used, but that’s because most of these English thespians are being cast as flat cliche characters sidelining the romance.

What’s odd though, is the inclusion of some notable celebrity voices, like Hulk Hogan, Ozzy Osbourne, and Dolly Parton… erm, okay movie? Haha! Don’t me wrong, each of these celebs fit their animated roles perfectly (with Hogan even providing the biggest laughs in the movie), but it’s just strange casting, the kind that may make grown ups scratch their heads, and wonder why they were cast in this particular movie; ESPECIALLY Osbourne. It’s not a complaint, just a bizarre quirk to the film, but I guess the movie needs a bit of eccentricity, considering it’s lack of uniqueness.

“Gnomeo & Juliet” does look kind of pretty though, doing a nice job creating plastic or china textures for characters, rendering beautiful garden backdrops, and using the red/blue motif to colourful effect. I particularly liked the secret garden that Gnomeo & Juliet elope in, it doesn’t look as gorgeous as the other backyards, but it has this mysterious atmospheric whimsy to it, that affectionately reminded me of my grandparents’ old homes.

Lastly, this movie was actually executive produced by Elton John, who also adds his own original songs to the soundtrack, and they’re okay to listen to, but nothing special. They play their parts in the story, while capturing the British-centricity of the setting, it’s just that I don’t think I even remember any of them while writing this review, and I think Elton has composed far more memorable songs for other animated movies.

To Conclude “Gnomeo & Juliet” is what it is, a cutesy fluffy version of the bard’s romantic tragedy, but it’s not really anything more than that, and I guess this is why the public are baffled why it’s warranted a sequel. Sure, it’s a nice “My First Shakespeare” for young audiences, but I do think children deserve something less pandering, and maybe “Romeo & Juliet” isn’t the best inspiration for a whimsical kids’ movie; especially one this reluctant to get dark. If the premise sounds good to you, then check it out, because it gives you exactly what’s on the tin, but I personally don’t think people are missing much.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH MY REVIEW OF “SHERLOCK GNOMES”

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Written by Jambareeqi

Posted 4th May, 2018

Kashiwagi Sora has a self proclaimed adventurer father who travels the world, he often sends Kashiwagi strange gifts he’s found, but Kashiwagi never really appreciates them, because they can be overwhelming dangerous sometimes, but that all changes when he receives an adorable baby mummy from Egypt, and names it Mii-kun! While trying to raise this weird little cutie, Kashiwagi’s friends all end up getting creatures of their own, and they all start getting together to discuss how to look after their otherwordly friends.

This show, is so so so so so so so so so so cute, it’s so Kawai that you could die from whimsy injury, or be sent to the hospital with a heart melted grin. If that’s not your cup of tea, then this show isn’t for you, because the adorability is layered thick in every episode. It’s very much a slice of life formula, with the focus on high school teens bonding with each other and their sweet tiny critters, while also dealing with everyday problems.

Although, the stakes are sometimes raised from time to time, like in one episode, a mandrake escapes from Kashiwagi’s garden, and threatens to kill the townsfolk with it’s dangerously loud scream. However, for the most part, it employs a relaxing tone, relying on the charm of these cute little monsters to keep audiences smiling, and I liked that it didn’t suddenly become a cliche “We must protect these creatures from the suspicious authorities!” kind of story à la Spielberg’s E.T.

Saying that though, the show does end up having a climax that steers the tone from zero to eleven out of nowhere, throwing a villain into the mix who poses a hazard to little Mii-kun, and forcing Kashiwagi to take action. I’ll admit that this sudden shift in mood was the only part where the show lost me, as it took away the initial charm of the anime, and ended up becoming forced melodrama to compensate for the lack of high tension. Slice of life is at it’s best when it affectionately embraces it’s laid back mundanity, never forgetting what it’s appeal is, and loses that spirit when it attempts to escalate things into something over-theatrical.

Anyway, the creatures are the biggest part of the show, the heart of it even, being treated as a fine line between babies and pets. I really like how each monster ranges in personality, varying in maturity, bravery, or intelligence in differing ways, because it not only makes their interactions together unique, but also creates a diversity of creature x human relationships. I also like how the show has to be visually inventive when making the creatures communicate, because they can’t directly talk, cleverly relying on gestures or notes to send signs to humans, or providing humorous subtitles for the audience. Sure students do freak out or get annoyed when they first meet their little monsters, but with Kashiwagi’s help, they learn to see how friendly and loving their new family members are.

Kashiwagi makes for a really likable protagonist! He’s immensely empathetic to those around him (even if they pose a threat), has so much love to give out, is full of helpful folklore knowledge, and isn’t ashamed to show his more feminine side. Although, the series doesn’t portray him as some messiah, he can show anger sometimes, and one episode addresses how his selflessness can frighten his friends, because he takes his willingness to sacrifice himself too far. I loved this guy! I respected how shameless he is about being a big softie, adored how caring he could be to little Mii-kun, and it’s this love that brings out his more brave moments.

Kashiwagi and Mii-kun grow a very heartwarming bond together, with Mii-kun always being eager to help out around the house despite his size, and Kashiwagi demonstrating some impressive maturity as a young parental figure. Little Mii-kun clearly adores Kashiwagi, worrying about him if he gets sick, or showing affection for him through his own personal ways, and I couldn’t help but smile widely at this tiny mummy’s ability to express love to a human.

Kashiwagi’s close friendship with his childhood pal Tazuki, who gets a child Oni called Conny, is a strong point of the show too, because it’s this whole pet creatures situation that pushes them to confront their internalized feelings, and brings out the sweeter side of the hard nosed tsundere Tazuki. The two of them have a lot of endearing love for eachother as friends, and even though he’s often very cold (and sometimes a little dark), Tazuki does clearly think the world of his best friend; to the point where he’s VERY protective of the guy.

Motegi and Daichi are the two other high school students who get their own creatures, being much more sweeter to their pets than Tazuku is to Conny. Motegi is delightfully upbeat, adding to the cuteness of the show, while Daichi starts off as a conflicted boy who is being haunted by bad dreams, but Kashiwagi helps him loosen up, and he turns out to be one of the more emotionally fragile human characters. I feel as if these two bubbly characters are a perfect addition, as it would have been a difficult show to watch, if the stone faced Tazuki was the only member of Kashiwagi’s new creature care club.

There’s also a fantastic assortment of supporting enchanting characters, from a motherly goddess who turns her temple into a daycare for the creatures, to a neurotic and easily excitable Anubis statue, who I loved so much, that I wish he was introduced sooner. These characters add a little extra something to the show, expanding the gallery of supernatural cast members and giving the students people to turn to as new carers. But luckily, one other human DOES know about what’s going on, Kashiwagi’s giddy but kind aunt, who acts hilariously nonchalantly about these creatures, and it’s this calmness that makes her a gentle presence in the show.

I do think the show suffers from some iffy world building though, as it rarely goes to much length to develop the public’s relationship with these folklore creatures, sometimes portraying it as the norm, but other times our heroes fear what’ll happen if people discovered their new fantastical friends’ existences. It’s a tad confusing, raising questions about how this world works, and making us ponder about the bigger picture. It didn’t bother me too much, but I saw folks in episodes’ comment sections on Crunchyroll getting worked up, performing mind gymnastics about this show’s universe.

To Conclude, How to Keep a Mummy is an adorable show! It has a lovely likable characters, the supernatural elements are fun, and the creatures themselves are too cute for words. I’ll admit that it can sometimes shift it’s tone drastically out of nowhere, and struggles to build a coherent setting, but I still enjoyed watching it each day lately! If you like the slice of life filler episodes of Pokemon, where they stop for a food break or chill, then this is the anime for you.

CLICK HERE TO WATCH IT ON CRUNCHYROLL

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